The Beat Does Not Go On

It's time for another edition of Why I Couldn't Read This Book. We have three contenders today, so let's take a look at them all, shall we?

Derby Day
D.J. Taylor
Fiction

This book was nominated for the Man Booker Prize, apparently. Lord help us all. It was boring. Very, very boring. And all of the characters were Mr. This and Mrs. That. No one was called by their first name. Nothing takes me out of a book faster than seeing Mr. This over and over again on the page. How can I relate to a character when the tone is so formal? I can't, which is why I set this one down after four chapters.

The Red House
Mark Haddon
Fiction

I loved The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night. It was one of those books where I wasn't sure at first but then I kept reading and I ended up loving it. So I gave Mr. Haddon the benefit of the doubt and picked up his latest. Then I started reading and quickly realized all the dialogue was italicized. No quote tags. Just italics. You know how much I hate italics. You know how much I hate authors who try to be all stylish and "different" by not using quote marks. Guess what, stupid authors? When I see you trying to reinvent the standard novel form, it makes me hate you. And it makes me put down your book.

The Water Children
Anne Berry
Fiction

The cover's cool. The story idea, a book about four children, all of whom have issues with water, is an interesting one. Too bad it was so dull. Also, the first chapter starts with a young boy not watching his sister and her, you guessed it, drowning. Way too dark for me. I managed to get through to the next child but I couldn't shake the feeling that this novel would not have many upper moments, so off to the bottom of my stack of books it went.